Gus doesn't need to bother murdering me, because I think I might kill myself

Ok, it is super fun to have famous friends and all, but not when they tell you crap about yourself that is not cute! Tonight, I had dinner with Gwen and Gavin, they are super-cute. Gwen wants me to be the new face of L.A.M.B. I'm like, "I love lamb! It's delicious!" Then she had to explain that it's her little clothing line and whatever, so I'm ok! Then we are sitting there, enjoying some drinkies and yakking and I was telling them about going back and forth to rehab all summer and how boring that was and then Gavin goes, "Do you think that nobody loves you?" And I was like, "Whatever! Everyone is obsessed with me! I have a machine that keeps leaving me emails and comments and whatever, plus there is a toy and some baked goods and you can't believe how many restraining orders I have against my fans." So Gavin just sits there, being all smart and whatever, and he goes, "Yes, but that's not what I asked." So then I had to think, and you guys know how I hate that! And then I was like, "!" That means I'm speechless remember? Only now I am freaking out because when he talks with that British accent I am like, "Whoa." It has be true. So just now, I was driving back to The Compound and I was thinking to myself, "Who does love me?" So I started with Daddy, but then I realized that he is too busy to love me and Mother is too whatever! So then I was like, "Well, Knute loves me." But actually I'm not sure he does. I think I make him feel real smart or whatever so he likes me for that. So then I was like, "Rhett?" Probably not. So I called Mims and I was like, "Help! Who loves me?" And she was all, "Have you been drinking?" And I go, "Yes, but that doesn't matter! Who loves me?" And she was like, "Duh. Everyone is obsessed with you! You have toys and baked goods and whatever and like how many restraining orders do you have?" So I totally felt better at first but then I was thinking about what Gavin said and I was freaking out, So like I just called Edgar and I was all, "Who loves me?" And it was just his voicemail, so that didn't really help. I know Gus doesn't - I mean, he was trying to kill me just yesterday! Katrinka hates me. Kitten doesn't even remember me half the time. I am so fucking depressed.