I just realized I've been so like traumatized by all the crap going on that I haven't even posted any pictures with my posts and that is not like me, for reals. So this here is a picture of a lemon cupcake, my very favorite.
So, ok, I went to Dallas to see Rhett this last weekend and I was totes just going to go and not worry about it, but my new PA was all, "I bet we can get you permission to go" and it turns out she just called my bail bondsman and I was like on my way! I was going to take her with me, but Edgar says I need some boundaries, so I made her stay home. Too bad too because the hotel was not cute and I bet she could have gotten me some more comps. I didn't want Harvey to go either, so I drove myself. My ass was killing me on the drive up there. I don't know how you people drive yourself around all the time.
So there's lots to tell from the weekend, I don't even know where to start. First of all, Squirrel was there, which I totally didn't remember although I think Rhett told me that like forever ago! It was a super nice surprise. I totes liked Squirrel before the weekend but now I love him. He's hilarious. He had some friends with him - one of which was a girl who was crazy - PLUS Rhett apparently knows the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders and they were fun too, except when they start like cheering in the middle of a bar. That was sort of weird, I was like, "What is going on?" Luckily me and Squirrel were totes trying to see who could drink the most. I think I won, but I'm not really sure. Anyway, after enough vodka tonics, you don't really need to know what cheerleaders are cheering for, you know? It's like zing or whatever.
When we got asked to leave the bar, the paps were all over the place. That was super-boring. The cheerleaders were posing for cameras and I was signing autographs for awhile but then I got like really bored and decided I didn't want to sign anymore but the cheerleaders were being nice and whatever. I was all, "How can you be so polite?" Only I might have said "fake" which was totes not what I meant. It was the vodka and I totally blame Squirrel! So like, if you are one of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders that I offended, that's not what I meant. Quit texting me and threatening me, okay?
More later!
