Thinksgiving!?

Holeeeeee crap you guys. When I woke up awhile ago, I smelled something awesome from the kitchen so I went downstairs to see what's what. Well, Gus was "all in a lather." My grandmamma used to say that and I have no idea what it means. I mean, he wasn't in the shower, but he was busy! I guess that's what it means. Anyway, there was food everywhere! I go, "What the hell is going on here?" And Gus goes, "Thinksgiving. What the hell do you THINK is going on here?" I was like, "!" Actually, I'm not sure he said thinksgiving. I mean, that doesn't even make any sense. You can't give your thoughts. Right? Although, I guess I sort of give my thoughts with my little bloggy thing, huh? Now I'm confused. I just buzzed Knute on the intercom thing and was like, "What is today?" So he didn't even answer, but I heard him blowing his nose or something honk sounding. (Please note that I did not write HONKY sounding, even though that's a perfectly acceptable word. I do not want to offend my sensitive white friends. Just like I'm super careful to refer to my black friends as "The Blacks." That's what they prefer, I've been told. And I refer to the orientals as "The Asians." Also my mexican friends I refer to as "The Brown Ones." Because I am like super-racially sensitive!!! And International!!!)

Well hell. Knute just came in and was like, "Hellow. It's November. It's THANKSGIVING." I was all, "Well that makes more sense!" I don't know why Gus has gotta make everything so complicated. Just say that. So that means we've got a huge meal today, which will be fun. I think Gus' kids are going to join us too. Which is crazy because I didn't even know he had kids! So it's going to be me, K-nut, Gus, his children, Katrinka and her boyfriend and whoever else stops by I guess. Knute says we have to put up the Christmas tree this weekend, but I don't see how we'll have time if we are eating all that food. It's like CRAZY!

Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving or Thinksgiving or both, depending on your religion or color or whatever!!!

Ok, I am confused you guys!

Crazy! I've been getting messages from doctors and dieticians or dieters or something about how that Mediterranean way to eat is like super good for you. Somebody asked me to endorse some crap or whatever. Like I have time for that! I am busy you guys. And anyway, one of those doctors told me that eating like that Mediterranean diet is the way poor people eat in Europe or wherever the hell Mediter is. So the thing is this: Gus says that awesome new way we've been eating is actually that Mediterranean diet thing. So I was like, "Why is it so expensive to eat like poor people?" Because I accidently saw a receipt from the grocery store and that shit is like costly! Seriously. Who knew cheese was like a luxury item?

So my friend Waff is having a hard time and I was a super awesome friend and all supportive and shit over the weekend. I was like, "I would be my own best friend!" If I could. Not like you can do that, but still. He sure is lucky to get to listen to me being awesome. Especially since I'm awesome right there in front of him. A lot of my fans only get to experience my awesomeness through this blog thingy or emails or whatever.

More Stuff About Poor People Food

So Gus has decided that we are going to change the way we eat. He wants us to eat the Mediterranean way. At first I thought that meant taking off our shoes and sitting on the floor, but Knute says that's Japanese. So then I was like super confused, because I was already on the floor! Anyway, Gus says eating Mediterranean is all about fresh fruit and veggies and lots of olive oil and stuff like that. I was like, "I don't think so! I want my poor people food!" So I was furious and I guess he backed off for the time being. Last night for dinner, Gus made me an awesome plate of really pretty stuff: tomato, avocado, some nice cheese, little shrivelled up thingies Knute calls "dates" (which is hilarious) and some good bread with some dipping stuff that was awesome, like light green and clear. It didn't even have like a flavor except sort of like a martini garnish. I was totally in heaven because you can eat everything with your hands which everyone knows make stuff taste better, like onion rings. Anyway, I was like, "See Gus, that was awesome! Don't change what we eat! I love poor people food." And Gus was all, "That definitely is poor people food. Greek and Italian peasants!" And I was like, "That's what I'm saying! We don't need to eat that Mediterranean crap!" He was laughing a lot and that makes me happy. His teeth are real white.