Getting rid of stuff!

So Knute and DD cooked up some kind of plan to get rid of some stuff and make a little money too since Daddy has mostly cut me off. They are having a garbage sale, which kind of hurt my feelings because my garbage is still awesomer than most people's nice stuff. They've been taking all kinds of crap out of the cupboards and putting little stickers on them. I keep seeing stuff I totes forgot I had! Like OMG! But we haven't taken a trip or anything in ages and I haven't even bought any shoes in like forever, except the pair I bought this week and the ones I bought last weekend. Oh and there was those pairs that I got online, the point is that I've really cut back and that's boring as crap, for reals.

Knute told me tonight that I need to think about getting a job and I was all, "ummm...I don't think so." See, I don't like to work. So I'm really thinking I just need another endorsement deal, so I need to get Knute or DD to work the phones a little. I wish I could get a vodka company to sponsor me but DD is all like, "I think if you've been to rehab they won't higher you." I was like, "I'm already high enough, I don't need to be higher." Because me and Knute were hanging out all day by the fish pond and eating Xanax like candy. So then I Knute was like, "We need to figure out what your passion is! That's what Oprah says. If you find your passion then the money will follow." I go, "Um my life is like totes perfect! I sleep and shop and party. I don't want to do anything else! You just need to figure out a way for me to make money doing that." They don't seem very enthusiastic about it, but I'm sure they'll think of something. They are like totes smart. Maybe Xanax could sponsor me! I gotta go tell them to find the phone number for Xanax.

Do you know about this Facebook Thingy?

Everywhere I go I the paps are yelling at me: Cupcake, are you on Facebook?

I don't even know what that means! It sounds like it ought to be in the library, but Knute says its on the computer. I don't really know but I'm tired of people telling me they are going to Facebook me when I'm signing autographs, it totes sounds like a threat, you know?

So I called Daddy's assistant today to see what was up with the real estate because I keep hearing that real estate is super-cheap and Daddy needs to buy me a new beach house. So Vanessa said he was out of the country because of the Congressional subpoena. I was like, "What?" So she's like, "The Iraq stuff? The contracts?" I was like, "ok..." I had no idea what the fuck she was talking about. So she starts talking about nobid contracts, I don't know what a nobid is but it sounds bad, you guys. Vanessa said Daddy might be in trouble. I hope the Congressional doesn't read my bloggy thing...

Ok, I just called Vanessa and she said I shouldn't be bloggy about Daddy's business. Which was real super-bossy of her, but whatever. She thinks she's family because she and Daddy travel everywhere together but she's only a couple of years older than me, so I don't know why she thinks she's such hot shit.

I can't believe I didn't write for so long! This is awesome! Because I'm so super creative and whatever. All us artist types need like a creative outlet and stuff.

Wow, you guys! I've been all super busy and whatever!

So, I haven't been writing because there was the rehabs and then it was party season, then I went to Europe and I was having too much fun to bother, then it was awards season and I was all over the place: LA, Cannes, Sundance, SXSW (which is home, so I guess it's not really an excuse), and now I'm like so totes bored that I decided to start the bloggy thing again. Plus all my fans have been complaining so fucking much that I have to shut them up. Just a couple of words from me and they are like so happy, it's totes sad about their lives.

So, many of my fans will remember that I went through a phase where I had all white pets because color-coordinating your animals is totally awesome. So then I lost some, I can't remember which ones I lost, I know that I had a bat named Whitey who might have been a bird, it was all very confusing and there was a dog named Honky that got kidnapped. Anyway, I've been thinking about getting another dog, maybe one that's too big to lose or have dognapped. I want a Grate Dane, but Knute says it's too much like having a horse in the house and I have no idea how he would know what that's like, but anyway, since he and DeeDee now outnumber me in votes - which I totes don't get because I'm pretty sure I'm the one who signs their paychecks, or my accountant anyway - I hardly ever get my way anymore. It's real super-boring. Maybe that's another excuse why I haven't been writing. Plus it's just hard you guys! For reals.

Mostly I've been thinking about the economy, you guys. This is like really serious or something. Like I think Obama is totes right that stimulating the nation is the way to go, it's like a giant vibrator for the whole country, which is awesome! Daddy sold my castle in Belgym and my house in the Bahamas, but he swears when "the heat is off" he'll buy me new ones. I don't know about you guys, but I'm pretty sure we have the air conditioner on at The Compound, so I'm getting a little impatient. He says that Uncle Dick might not be able to help him this time, which is crazy because Uncle Dick has been running the country for the last 8 years, so I don't know why he can't fix this, but anyway, it's like politics and I don't really have time for that because I am too busy being fabulous.