The Ballroom

So I was just in the ballroom staring at my tree. Knute and Gus did an awesome job and I don't usually approve of anything they do - mostly because I don't understand anything they do. One thing Knute did that I was like dying over is the peacocks hidden in the tree. You can't really see them in that picture down there, but there are peacocks all over the tree. I have peacocks here at The Compound and those fuckers are loud. I still think they are super pretty though. I wonder if they make those shock collars for peacocks? I need to ask someone.

So the other day, Edgar took me up into the attic because he said it's not rationale for me to be afraid of my own storage area. I mean, I think that's awesome because I don't like to be scared of any parts of my house, anyway, I found a box up there that had a lot of Grandmamma's stuff. There were pictures and a fancy candelabrum and some tops and stuff. Mostly it was boring, but Edgar almost sucked all the air out of the attic "Cupcake do you know what that is?" He was holding up the candle thingy. I'm all "Um, like a candle thingy?" Edgar just put it down and said, "Cupcake, it's a menorah." I go, "A menwhata?" So then he told me this crazy story about oil and shit and I felt like I'd heard it before, but I was not even listening. Then I heard him say the word jewish. I was like, "Jesus Christ! I think my Grandmamma and Grandpappa might have been jewish whatever THAT means." So Knute was up there too, working on his issues with the attic, and he goes, "They are totally Jewish, they just pretended like they weren't." Well, I was like, "I don't pretend to be anything at all. I just am." Knute is all, "Not you, your grandparents and your parents." Well, I don't have time to be worried about what they were doing or not doing or whatever. I am all equal opportunity like I've been saying for like ever. But those two were acting like it was a big deal so I don't really figure I want to think about it. Because whenever people act like something is a big deal it usually means it's something complicated, so I'd rather not think about it.

I am super smart

Ok, so last night I went to that party at my super-smart friends' house and it was like crazy! Seriously, I don't understand why being so smart means you have to be so boring. For instants, everyone stood around talking. Like what is that about? No body shots, no dancing, no one puking out by the pool. I'm not ever sure they have a pool. I don't really know why they are my friends, to tell the truth. I don't even think they have PAs. Ewww.

So anyway, yesterday, Knute went out and got our Xmas tree. And him and Gus put it up before I left. When I got home, they had it all decorated already! I was like, "!!!" They put it in the ballroom this year which makes way more sense to me than putting in the foy-yay like Knute did last year. I mean that frigging ballroom is all empty anyway and no one ever even goes in there! I mean, I hardly ever use the front part of the house. Sometimes I forget that all those rooms are up there because mostly I'm in the Master Suite, the kitchen, the media room or outside. Maybe I should start spending more time in the library, the billiards room and the aviary. But seriously, I am not hanging out in that ballroom because there has never been a more boring room in the history of the world, for reals! Except for now, with the tree and all. I think they did a real nice job. It smells nice too.

I'm thinking about having a party this year. I just buzzed Knute and told him that his tree has inspired me to throw a party. See with Knute, you have to butter him up a little so that's why I started off complimenting the tree. Then he's like proud or whatever and he'll agree to anything else because he's totally not listening because he's thinking about how awesome he is. I am super smart! The last time we threw a big party for the holidays, Knute started planning back in June or maybe even earlier. That was soooo boring. So this year, I want to just throw something together that won't be like a big deal. More on this later!!