Smudge

So the Austin cops called me this morning at like 11:30 and totally woke me up. I guess they found Smudge, she's at some drug dealer's house or something. This it totally crappy because I already got another dog and there is no way two will fit in my dog purse. So I guess I'll have to get rid of Honky. Or maybe I'll find a new home for Smudge, she's like old and will probably die pretty soon anyway. Honky is brand new, and I think Smudge is like three or something. Why would I keep the worn out when I've got a brand new shiny one already? Just like my Blackberry!
I went to some afterparty last night for some premier, I totally slept through the movie, so I don't even know who was in it. But I pigged out at the party, like I think I ate a whole piece of pizza. Yuck. Lindsay was telling me about the champagne and cigarettes diet and how that totally worked for her. She got down to 87 pounds! That is awesome. I'm totally going on that diet right now. But I'm like a health-nut so I'm only smoking American Eagle cigarettes because I think they are organic or something. And I am all about taking care of myself.

SXSW

So this week is like the big music and movie fest in Austin. All I have to say is "not enough swag bags." Please. Like I need a Taco Cabana coupon. I want Piaget or a new Sidekick. I swear, Austin can be so low rent. The good news is that there are parties galore but hardly any red carpets. Also good news, tons of new boys in town that I haven't slept with yet. Yet.
Last night, I went to some dildo movie, I kid you not. It was awesome, but there were a lot of women there and hardly any guys. I did meet this one guy, named Chris, I was totally making out with him after the question and answer thing and he was all, "Don't grab my crotch!" Plus, he was funny about his chest. Whatever, like I need a guy with hangups. He wasn't really tall enough for me, I mean he was practically my height and he wasn't muscular enough either. I mean, he pretty much was built like me. Nice flannel shirt, though. He was all into Melissa Etheridge and The L-Word on Showtime, you know how guys like watching girl action. Anyway, he was fun to make out with, even if he wouldn't come home with me. P.S. he had the softest lips and tiniest hands.