Sun Dried Tomatoes Make Me Furious

Ok, so here's the deal. On Tuesday, me, Yoli and Knute were out and about doing some stuff. We almost had a car wreck and died. Everyone's ok, but like now I'm thinking about stuff. And you know how I hate that. So turns out that for lunch that same day, we had Italian and I passed on a dish because it had sun dried tomatoes in it. Like why would you dry out a tomato? They are awesome. I can totally see drying a grape (raisin) or a plum (fig) but tomatoes are awesome on their own. So anyway, while the car was spinning around and I was sort of thinking we were going to die, I was going, "Fuck! I should have just told them to substitute fresh tomato and had what I wanted." Not that the gnocchi wasn't awesome, it was. But you guys all know how I love spinach - even after losing Lupe, I still do! So here's the thing, now I'm just thinking about how sun dried tomatoes could have ruined what little time I had left on the world, which really turned out ok, since we just totalled the Range Rover and now I can get a new car!

Also, why are dried grapes "raisins" and dried tomatoes are just "dried tomatoes"? I think they look sort of like a vadge, so you could call them that. "I'll have the polla florentine with vadge." Not that I would do that, since I hate sun dried tomatoes, but you could.

So the other thing I'm thinking about, which I hate, is the whole "What am I doing with my life thing?" (Besides buying a new car! Something awesome, but I don't know what.) Good thing Rhett is in town so I don't have to think for the next couple of weeks!

Boys

Ok, turns out food banks are all about canned goods, but I was thinking it was just where you put your cans to keep them safe. Not so much. Anyway, we got it all straightened out. Gus isn't mad anymore and Knute finally stopped laughing. He's so weird.

I heard from Rhett today. I thought he was still on tour, but it turns out he's home already for the holiday. I'm super excited, I mean, I don't bother getting excited about much of anything, but I really want to see him. He's awesome. We have all sorts of glamourous red carpet stuff to do for the next few weeks. It will be super boring.

WHAT A WEEKEND, PEOPLE

Ok, turns out a food bank is where poor people go to get charity. Not like a place for canned goods. Knute had to explain to me. Gus isn't mad anymore

Here's the thing, though, people. My friend Waff, he's super nice and whatever and he told me he was moving this weekend, which is awesome. USUALLY. I love to watch those big strapping guys come load up all your stuff in that giant truck and then they drive away and by the time you are done with vacation in Nice, your house is all unpacked. Love that.

Yea, well, that's not how Waff moved. First of all, I had never been to his old place, so I saw that first and it was like horrifying. I mean he had a gate and all, but once you got inside the gate, it was something called "apartments." Like whatever! We have a flat in London that is kind of like an apartment, but it's 4 stories! This was like 5 rooms. I kept walking around going, "Oh.My.God. Where's the bar? Where's the media room? Where's the library?" I was freaking out!!! Waff was like, "Shut up and help me carry this sofa to my truck." I was all, "What? I don't think so. I just had my nails done." I have no idea what he was thinking inviting me into a place like that. So anyway, I was thinking maybe his new place would be awesome, like on the lake or at least a golf course. No. It's in a neighborhood. There's no gate, no security guards, no nothing. He wanted me to go to someplace called Bed Bath and BeYawned, but I was scared to leave the Maz on the street! Hellow, I'm pretty sure those people were middle class. Daddy says you cannot trust the middle class. I'm not really sure who is middle class but I am terrified of them. So anyway, we went to that bed place because Waff wanted a shower curtain, I was all, "Isn't your shower glass-enclosed?" He was like, "No." I was like, "!" That means I'm speechless as I'm sure you remember.

Anyway, that store was just terrible. It was tiny, there were no personal shoppers and you had a push a cart around. It was almost like the grocery store, only worse. Then he wanted to go to The Target, which was crazy! It has groceries AND shower curtains. I was losing my mind. Finally I was like, "Waff, I gotta go, this is too bourgeois for me!" And I don't even know what that means!!!

Anyway, he suggested a burger and a beer, so that was fine, but now I'm thinking I'm going to have to rethink my whole friendship with him, I mean, if he's middle class and the middle class is the enemy, then I'm pretty sure Waff is my enemy. HOLY CRAP.

This is all very confusing. My head is spinning. I couldn't wait to get back to The Compound. Now I'm sitting in the Master Suite with Mr. Cat and I'm seriously freaking out, people.