Talking about food

That's a waffle. I'm still obsessed with waffles, even if my waffle friend disappeared. I hope he didn't die or anything. Or that he didn't get kidnapped by a stalker or something. Whatever.

That's super boring when that happens, especially for me because then the press wants interviews and stuff and none of it is about me.

So my friend Jenn was asking about Gus and she was like, "He's too nice." And I was like, "He's a criminal." I don't see how you can be nice and be a criminal at the same time. Anyway she says he "caters" to me, which is crazy, I think she doesn't really speak English. I was like, "Not really. He's a cook, not a caterer." She just looked at me like I was crazy. Then she goes, "Caterers cook." And I was like, "!" because that means I'm speechless. Because I totally know that! I mean, unless you are doing crudite. That shit is raw and cold.

Cool Spinny Thingy

Isn't that cool? My friend James sent me that. I think he's in outer space or something. He's an astronaut or whatever. Plus he's super cute so there! That is like space or something.

So I can't believe I'm up this early for reals! I was up super late last night watching some stupid show about dog training with some crazy foreign lady who doesn't even speak English! The whole show was in some foreign language and they didn't even bother with subtitles! Half the time I didn't even know what was going on. Anyway, the point is that I should still be asleep.

Knute wants me to go take the RR to some Jiffy Place and get the "oil changed". That sounds super suspicious to me! What oil!? I think he just wants me out of The Compound so he do something. He's very sneaky. I think at one point I wasn't goin to trust him anymore but then I felt bad about the Monte thing so I forgot. Whatever, it's hard to keep track of who I'm not trusting.

Then I'm seriously going to the store for books and find some stuff to make me super-smart. Or super-smarter. Smooches, you guys!!! If you see me out'n'about holla!!!!

Some Awesome Stuff

You know what's awesome? Staying home sometimes. But going out is awesome too. It's hard to pick. Tonight I'm staying in and Mr. Cat just came and jumped on the bed. He's awesome too.

I've been thinking about reading a book or something. Like what am I doing for my brain? Sure, lots of Redbull and Starbucks, but what else? Like I know people who do puzzles and shit. Well, I don't know them really, but I've seen people doing puzzles. Like on TV and airplanes when I fly commercial which sucks by the way. So I think reading would be awesome for my brain and I am all about being super-smart and stuff. If you have a book recommendation, that would be excellent. Because this one time, I accidentally went to a store for books and I was freaking out. There's a lot of books you guys! How do you pick one? Or like three? Me and Rhett got in a fight one time in a store for books. That was hilarious. We weren't there buying books though. I don't really remember why we were there. It might have been a accident. Sometimes, it's hard to remember why me and Rhett do stuff. Like why were we laughing on the A train that day? I mean I know what was said and all, but it wasn't all that funny so why were we laughing like that? It must be all the drugs. Or the booze. Dunno. All I know is that I want to improve my brain and whatever so I'm going to start doing puzzles or reading or something.

Not tonight though, because I'm waaaay too drunk. Tomorrow for sure.

Yay! Feeling better!

You know what always makes me feel awesome? Shopping. Shopping and Russell Crowe. He's on the tv right now and I'm in the media room watching him. Plus, I went shopping today and bought a ton of cashmere sweaters. I love cashmere. It's awesome.

I also bought Knute some cashmere because he totally needs some. He's like an extension of me when we are out of The Compound and I need for him to look awesome too. I never go anywhere with Gus or Katrinka so I don't need to worry about how they look. Because it doesn't matter, they just work for me.

So I finally feel better and thanks to all my fans who sent me texts and emails and called and whatever to wish me well. I'm pretty sure that helped me get better. That and the Taco Cabana. After feeling so bad, it was weird today to want to eat something tasty. So I made Knute take us through the drive-thru. Flatulas are so excellent.

Banana pudding is excellent also. Gus made me some! It's like bananas and pudding and cookies. Bananas is hard to type. I keep typing banabanaa - like I don't know when to stop typing! That makes me laugh.

I think this weekend is going to be totally boring. Of course I didn't go to Fashion Week in LA, that is sooo totally boring. I'll go to NY or Milan or Paris, but seriously, who goes to LA for fashion? Please. Me and Mims will get our toes did, like we do on Saturdays and then I'm going to be totally boring and stay home since I didn't feel so good this week. How boring is that? Sometimes I bore myself.

So boring

You know what's so boring? Being sick. I thought I was sick from the espresso beans but I guess I wasn't. I mean, I guess I'm really sick. My stomach is killing me and let me just tell you, there's only so much you can sleep. Today I was sleeping until I woke up and then there was nothing to do because Knute was out 'n' about and I was so bored.

Ugh

Here's where I've been since yesterday. I feel terrible. Knute just brought me some tea and toast and I couldn't even eat it. I wonder if this has anything to do with those beans I ate yesterday? All I know is my stomach is killing me, my head hurts and there's a lot of stuff going on in my digestive track. And not good stuff either! Bad stuff. Unfun stuff. Like if you took my poll today, you couldn't pick any of the choices, because I am not supah anything today. I think I'm going back to sleep now.

weeeeeeeeeeeee!

WOW! I went to the kitchen about an hour ago and I was chatting with Gus because I figure that's the only way to get over feeling weird and he had this bowl out on the counter with what looked like little chocolate thingies in it, so I started eating them. They were good and they sort of tasted like coffee, so anyway, I'm eating them while we're talking and pretty soon the bowl was empty and I go, "I need some more of these things." And Gus goes, "Did you eat that whole bowl?" And I'm all, "Mmmmmm hmmmm! they were good." So Gus is like, "Those were chocolate covered espresso beans!" Like that means anything to me! Whatever, they were good and now I'm thinking about going running, isn't that hilarious - I never run - except from the cops after a hit'n'run! I put the run in hit'n'run. Gawd that's hilarious. Knute wants me to eat some protein and try to rest, but I feel fantastic and I want to like go climb a mountain or something. You know what I haven't done in awhile? Walked the entire compound! Like how do I know the wall is still up all the way around, except not on the lake side of course! Why would you have a wall up beside a lake? That's crazy! That's the whole point of living on the lake is getting to the water, right? You know who drives me crazy? Tara Reid. I used to like her, but now she's trying to be serious and it's no fun. Fun 'n' run rhyme! That's hilarious! One time, I went out with this guy and he was real tall and I was like, 'Why you gotta be so tall?" He didn't get it. Whatever. I have shorter friends too. Like Vera, she's tiny. But she's Asian, so that could be why. I think they make them smaller for some reason, probably because they sit on the floor and that makes it easier. You know what's awesome? Cheese. Gus always keep cheese in the fridge. Sometimes it's fancy and sometimes it's that string stuff. I don't care, I love cheese!

My stomach hurts.

Sometimes when you are talking to people, you can just tell they've been to prison. Except for Gus. For instants, me and a couple of my smart friends got invited to the Chris Isaak show out at The Backyard. VIP, of course. And when we were going to our seats, I'm pretty sure the guy (I don't want to call him an "usher") anyway, the guy who checked our tickets just seemed sort of criminal-y. You know? Like why would you be a grownup and work at a place like that? Unless you had a record - and not for tax invasion like Gus. Like if you didn't have a record, you could work anywhere, but I bet The Backyard will hire anyone, even criminals. He was scruffy. And not scruffy like my friend TS who I think can't help it because he's french. I mean scruffy like he didn't have someone doing laundry for him regularly.

Whatever, I don't like to think about it because then I have to think about Gus and whether or not I need to be scared of him and I don't think I do, but I can't decide.