My hair is so cute, you guys!

Dang you guys! My extensions look awesome and I'm totally happy to say that not only did Erica believe me, she thinks I did totally right by firing Knute. So there. You guys can quit sending me hate mail. Look, as far as I'm concerned, this was just the final camel that broke the whatever's back or whatever. I can't remember how that thing goes. Anyways, I mean, like if your boss woke you up in the middle of the night screaming about the stalker next door neighbor stealing her hair extensions and like HER HAIR WAS ALL GONE, why would you doubt her, for real? That's just stupid and I am all about smart, so he had to go. Of course, I can't find anything and I'm like amazed that I could even turn on my computer since he always did that for me. And when I got home the other night, Gus didn't know I like my waffle syrup warmed up in the microwaver. Knute used to do that and he'd use the tiny melon baller to make butter balls. (Wow, that might be dirtiest sounding non-dirty sentence I've ever written and I have written a lot of dirty-sounding sentences! For real!) Anyway, I don't care. I'm not asking Knute to come back no matter what. I mean, I heard he was talking to those people at Noveltown about a tell-all and I was like, "Those people are too busy pretending to be a magazine. Plus, I think they might be poor and Knute is going to want a LOT of money to tell all my stuff because I will sue the bejesus out of him." What is a bejesus? If you can tell me, please leave a comment or whatever. That bothers me. Daddy had a landscaper one time who used to say bejesus and seriously, the more I type it the weirder it looks so that's probably going to keep me up all night tonight.

I totally talked to Kitten today. She wants me to come to the beach house in September. I was all, "September? Nobody goes to the beach in September." And she goes, "September is the new June." I was like, "Whoa!" That blew my mind. Then I was super confused because when do you celebrate Christmas or Channuhanahkah? I wish I knew how to spell that. Anyway, I guess I'm going but I couldn't really get an idea about how to get there. Kitten let me talk to her assistant who was all, "Just go to such-and-such website and the whatever-whatever website and find a fare." I was like, "What? It's like you're speaking Japanese."

Speaking of Japanese, Rhett is in Japan and was buried for three days in Japanese rubble after the earthquake. Luckily, he had a bag of Fig Newtons and some Red Bull, so he was fine when the Japanese people pulled him out. Way to go Rhett!

Also, Bucky will be in town next week and I am so nervous. I've decided that without a PA, I can't get married. I mean, who would do all the legwork? So I'm going to have to break up with him and quit wearing the ring I bought for him to give me. I think it will break his heart, but I am all about smart decisions and I feel like this is right for me now. At least until I get a new PA.

Big ups to whoever who was worried

Thanks so much for caring. Seriously. I'm so sure I haven't posted in like a week and whatever and nobody even emailed me. Not that I would have been able to answer. Let's just say that Monte went too far this time. I mean, finding him at the gate and in the garage and out and about is like one thing, but this is like ridiculous. I woke up on Tues night to find him standing over me with a knife in one hand and my extensions in the other. Like who does that? Anyway. He didn't say anything, he just turned around and left. That was so weird. So anyway, I called Knute in and told him and he was like, "Back to rehab for you!" Then he gets my Daddy on the phone. So I had to go BACK to Promises for a week. And everytime I turned around there were paps clicking away and that fucker Monte kept trying to visit me. As if! I think he still has my extensions so I'm definitely not going to be nice to him. Those things are expensive. The worst thing is that Knute doesn't even believe me and Daddy was just like, "I don't want to hear about poor Monte." Then he hung up on me. What kind of Daddy does that? The first thing I did when I got home was fire Knute. For real this time! I don't care how much I miss him or how hard it is to get tables, I'm not taking him back. I am fed up! Time for some changes in the compound. I might fire Katrinka and Gus. Although Gus is pretty awesome and he made me some excellent waffles when I got home. I think I'll keep him around. But everyone else is going. And I am going to get all healthy and like change my life.

But first I'm going to get some new extensions put in. I think I'm going to be a brunette now instead of a blond. Change is good.