Projects

It looks kind of like a ring, but it's a bracelet and guess what? Daddy's going to buy it in his first step of The Make It Up To Cupcake program. I gave that necklace to Katrinka and she was real happy, but I don't know where she's going to wear it because she doesn't go out much.

So we are about to have a tornado here in Austin. The TV is all about it on every local channel. Not that I ever watch TV that much, mostly it's just by accident. Even though I have a totally awesome media room. It's partly underground so I guess that's where we'll all go when the tornado comes. Knute is freaking out because of the tornado and the houseguest we are about to have. I love having guests but only when they stay in the guesthouse. I don't like having them actually IN the house. Member Bucky? He was out there forever, but I'm pretty sure he's gone, so that's where we're putting our guest.

So my friend Brookie broke her leg when she fell offstage drunk the other night. I'm all like, "That's what you get for being drunk on stage." She was feeling really bad since the doctors in the mergency room thought she had a substance abuse problem (she does) so they wouldn't give her any pain killers. So she's doing really bad. She was all texting me and going, "Do you still have the hippo tranqs?" I'm like, "Those are long gone!" Turns out she's out of the show because of her leg, so she's going to come to The Compound to heal. I know she just wants some drugs, but whatever. It's been super-boring here lately, so a hopped up musical theater actress might be hilarious! Too bad I already gave Katrinka that ugly necklace or else I'd give it to Brookie. She'd probably wear it. We met in rehab one time. Did I mention that? What up, Brookie???

WTF?!!?

I sent Daddy's secretary, Vanessa, a picture of that necklace I found in DC and told her to tell Daddy to buy it for me. Well, that was like Monday and today THAT came in the mail. Like I'm gonna wear that! The other one was super-cute, just like one blue rock with some little rocks around it. Very cute, but this thing? Seriously! I'm not going to wear that. I think I'll just give it to Katrinka.

I called Vanessa and I was all, "What is this?" And she goes, "Isn't it gorgeous? It belonged to the tsarina." I don't even know what a tsarina is but I made her spell it because I knew I was going to have to write about what a totally huge disappointment this is. It sounds like a mammal that lives in the ocean, like a porpoise or something. "I was on the ferry when I saw the tsarinas frolicking in the waves." Or something.

When I saw the velvet box I was like, "Yay! The Bob Hope Diamond!" But no. So now I'm looking for a watch because I need something cute to wear. Plus, Daddy's going to buy it because he didn't get me what I wanted. I might need a new house too. Maybe in London. Or Spain. Or somewhere awesome!

What the hell is Earf Day?

This is a picture of a flower near the house in DC. I think it's a peony. It was really pretty, if you like that sort of thing.

I posted it because today is Earf Day. I don't know what that means but I think you are supposed to plant something or some crap like that. I hate nature though, so I figure putting a picture up is doing my part.

So Gus has taken off the week. So me and Knute have to cook our own food. Which sucks, totes. We had cereal tonight for dinner. Knute knows how to cook but he won't. That's because he's still mad at me for letting Olga put him in the basement. Whatever! I'm scared of her too!

Me and Rhett went to the ghetto. Not in Poland though.

That's the house on Logan Circle, pretty cute huh? My room is on the other side of the house, but you can see Knute's window in this picture. Olga, the housekeeper won't let him have a guest bedroom, so he has to sleep with the servants in the basement. Isn't that hilarious? She's a terror! Rhett is scared of her, but at least she let him stay in one of the bedrooms!

So I was just taking a nap a little while ago and thinking all the fun stuff we did, like ride around with Mac and eating at Ben's Chili Bowl with the poor people. That was hilarious. We went to the ghetto! Mac said that Logan Circle was the ghetto for awhile and that was when Daddy bought the house. The only thing I don't understand is this: When we were at Ben's Chili Bowl eating poor people food, I didn't see any Jewish people at all, they were all black. I know that Jewish people live in ghettos because me and Rhett went to the Holocaust Museum. It's super confusing! We were standing in line at the museum and me and Rhett were talking about the Holocaust and I told him about how I accidently went to a couple of other Holocaust Museums and they are not really hilarious at all. But Rhett was determined to go. He was all, "Everything I know about history I learned from musical theater." So I was like, "ok, whatever." We did that whole museum and it took like hours. There were people all over there and it was super complicated. All I know is that it makes me sad for Grandmamma who got sent away from the ghetto and didn't get to eat poor people food during the Grate War. I have no idea what any of that means, and Mother told me not to talk about it ever, so don't tell anyone.

Anyway, me and Rhett snuck out of the house around midnight and walked up to U Street to eat poor people food and let me just say, there were LOTS of poor people up there. There were people sleeping on the sidewalk. I don't know why they are so tired, but they should go home! It's not dignified to sleep in public - just last Lindsey Lohan!!! Anyway, when we got back Mac and Olga were furious that we went up to U Street. I was like, "I am not scared of black people, Mac! I mean obviously!" What could he say, he's black! And I'm not scared of poor people either because they do good stuff like mow lawns and stuff or whatever. Maybe that's why they are so tired.

Some More Stuff About DC

DC was fun, but I'm always glad to get back to The Compound. For reals, I might be a hermit. Anyway, me and Rhett had a awesome time, even though I am super-pissed! On Saturday, Rhett was doing two of his shows, so I was all by myself. So Knute suggested some places and I wasn't listening so whatever! Anyway, we went to this store called The Museum of Natural History where I saw this cute little number. It was in a glass case and I called the clerk over and said I wanted to buy it. That clerk just laughed at me. I was like, "Do you know who I am?" And he just goes, "It's not for sale." And I was all, "Everything is for sale." Well, he kept saying he wasn't going to let me buy it and then he told me to "move along". I was like, "Oh no you didn't!" Well, I guess Knute heard the commotion (I think he was shopping in the dinosaur section, I was like, "We are not putting that fucker in the foyay, in case you are wondering!) so he came running and was like, "This isn't a store! Nothing is for sale." So I was all, "THEN WHY DID YOU BRING ME???" I don't know why people kept refusing to let me shop on this trip. So I didn't get to buy that diamond, but I still want it. I bet Daddy could get it for me.

The only good thing about this trip was seeing Rhett and how cute the house is. Plus I totes forgot how much I love all the people in his show. Particularly Furious Trousers - his pants still make me totes enraged - but he is super sweet. In fact, I didn't really even notice his trousers so much this time. Then there is Brookie. She is a mess, I totes love her. (What up, Brookie?) She is like the main person in the show and she is all singing and dancing and crap like that. I am like, "Whatever!" Who has time to be doing that? I am super-busy! There is a new person in the show who totes confused me. It's name is Katie and after the show I was sure it was a girl, but then when it met me, it said something about being a tranny so now I am super confused. It looks like a girl, but the good ones always do...

Anyway I am confused. I think I have the jet leg because I am super tired. More later with more pictures!