So, like I've been getting bombarded with requests for information about what happened in Dallas and I like since I sold the writes to OK! Magazine I couldn't say anything until the edition came out, but now I can talk about it, plus the DA in Dallas has said I'm not a suspect.
So ok. Brookie died in Dallas under suspicious circumstances. And of course I was there, but I totes have witnesses who saw us having a drinkie in the lobby of our cute little hotel and making up. I fact, I totally had convinced her to drop the attempted murder charges against me, so there's no way I would have been the one to smother her in her room with a decorative blue pillow. I mean, seriously! I needed her to talk to the prosecutor in Austin first!
The other good thing to come out of all this is that Knute is back! Of course, I have DD now and she's so good, I didn't really want to get rid of her, so I made Knute my Executive Assistant and DD is still my PA. I don't really know what I'm going to do with two PAs but I'm sure I can keep them busy and I need Knute. I was totes lost without him. He doesn't like DD, but that's his problem not mine! He was like, " Look I will come back now that Brookie is dead, but you have to get rid of DD." I was all, "Whatever! She's awesome!" So he was pouting, but I was all strong and like having boundaries or whatever and I won! So I have them both. Gus was all, "What are you going to do with two assistants?" So I go, "DD can be Knute's assistant." Gus goes, "Yea, that's a good idea." I was super-glad he agrees with me!
So tonight, Knute was busy unpacking stuff back into his suite at The Compound, so me and DD went to get some dinner and when we were driving back, the Mas started acting all crazy, so I pulled over and one of the tires was flat! I was like, "FUCK!" So DD was all over the iPhone making calls and getting someone to come deal with it while I was just sitting there being furious. So we'd been there awhile and DD was outside acting real important which was sort of cute and suddenly DD gets back in the car and she goes, "Don't freak out but there's a big old bear who stopped to change the tire for us." I was like, "A BEAR? I want to see a bear change a tire!" But the bear was gone and there was just some guy was working on it for us. All he wanted was an autograph even though I tried to give him a couple of hundreds. He had an earring in each ear like a girl and a totally bald head! That was hilarious. Anyway, overall I'm totally traumatized and had to take a handful of Xanax and Knute freaked out when he heard about it. I was like, "I didn't even SEE the bear, it went back in the woods, I guess." Still, he was upset that DD didn't call him. I was like, "As if you know how to change a tire." There may be some problems between those two, it sort of reminds of Lupe and Katrinka before Lupe ate the spinach and Katrinka got her papers. Those two were always were at each other, remember? My long-time fans will remember that, it was crazy! I don't need that crap again.
