Member how I used to talk about how I'm really black like on the inside? Well, I've actually decided I must be Mexican. The more I think about the more sure I become. Seriously, you guys! Member Lupe? I'm almost positive she was a Mexican, even though she said she was from somewhere else. Well, I totes loved her. I still miss her. Especially when Gus is making a GIANT pot of beans. I mean, I like a bean as much as the next celebritard, but seriously, he makes huge batches! And I try not to let myself think about why he's cooking in those enormous pots because I don't want to get all scared again. Like I don't know why I've been so scared lately. I need to ask Edgar because seriously, the Big Foot, Gus in jail, those crazy bats down by the lake...everything is scaring me lately. That is totally not like me at all! Normally, I don't even pay attention!
I FINALLY finish my community service on Saturday! Thank goodness! Today, I told Knute to call my probation officer and tell him that I would be late on Saturday because me and Mims have pedi appointments. Knute just looked at me and goes, "No. I'm not doing that." I was like, "What?" And Knute just put his little hands on his hips and goes, "No." I was like, "Give me the phone." So he finally gave me the phone, and I'm all, "What's the number?" So he wouldn't give it to me, but I am like super-smart so I called the 411 and asked for Travis County Probation and they totally gave me the number and so I was like, "I need to talk to Jerry." And so I got his voicemail and I was all, "Jerr, I'm gonna be late on Sats. Smooches!" Knute was like freaking out! "They are going to come take you to jail!" I was all, "Please!" But then the more I started thinking about it, the more I was thinking about racial profiling, which I think is where when you are driving down the road, the cops look at your profile to see what race you are. Anyway, I read that black people and Mexican people fit some kind of profile, so I got a hand mirror and I was trying to look at my profile in the bathroom and that is HARD, you guys! Like I don't look like that! So Knute came in and I was like, "Can you tell what race I am by my profile?" And so Knute just stood there for a minute looking at me like I was like crazy or something and he goes, "What do you think you are?" So that was like a question. I had to think for a bit. Finally, I'm like, "I used to be black, but now I think I'm Mexican." So Knute goes, "What makes you think you're a Mexican?" And I go, "I totally love bean and cheese tacos! Plus I speak lots of spanish and I still miss Lupe." So Knute takes this huge breath and he goes, "You aren't black and you are Mexican. You are a JAP." I was like, "!!!" because I was like super-speechless! I just stared at him for a minute and I totally whispered, "Oriental?" Well, I guess he had a asthma attack or something because he ended up lying on the floor, holding his side. I was super scared! AGAIN!!!! When he finally got up, he goes, "I have to go talk to Gus." So he totally left me and I tried to call Daddy and Mother and Kitten to ask them but no one was answering and now I am freaking out because I know you can tell Oriental people by their profiles and I'm pretty sure I'm going to jail.
