Who are all those people?

Like, I was just playing around on myspace and I started looking at my friends and I was like, "Who the fuck are all these people?" For real! I mean, I know Rhett, obviously and Tacoco and Holli and Erica and Aeon and Justin and Sammy and Josh and ok, well, maybe I do know all those people but there are a lot of baked goods and people and toys that I don't even know who they are. Seriously, it is hard to be famous, you guys! It wears me out how much people love me. So boring.

So me and Rhett found ANOTHER Sonic tonight and they actually understood the meaning of "easy on the ice." It might have been because I said, "Seriously, don't go crazy with that ice. Don't make me come in there." That girl was probably scared. Sometimes, when I put my sunglasses on top of my head, people get scared. It's true. Anyway, we decided to go shopping tonight and the weather was treacherous! Isn't that an awesome word? Me and Rhett were saying it all night. He still wants me to call him Starfish, but I think it is just weird to want to go by something other than your own name, you know? Like what does that mean? I wish I could go by something other than my name, but by now, I'm so famous that everyone knows me and I always hear, "Cupcake this" and "Cupcake that" everywhere I go. It is so boring. For real.

Anyway, I bought a totally cute cashmere sweater for fall - argyle pattern in black and grey with the cutest little zipper in front. I know it's like 400 degrees in Austin, but I just had to have it. I was actually looking for something to wear out tomorrow night. Me and Rhett have to make an appearance at some party - thanks, Yoli! - and then I guess it's something called Splash Weekend in Austin. I have no idea what that is, but Rhett seemed to think it was something. Anyway, I was looking at the cutest little silk Marc Jacobs number, but then I got to thinking about splashing and how water is not cute on charmeuse, so I'm leaning towards something cotton or maybe linen. We'll be out shopping, so holler at me! I don't know how we are celebrating Splash Day or what exactly you do for that. I mean, I plan to lie by the pool to get a little color tomorrow, but other than that how do you celebrate a splash? It's all very confusing.

Knute, my new hair and weird fashion choices

Ok, so I felt a little better today and since I was so sick, I didn't get my hair cut and go see Knute this week like I wanted to. So anyway, I got Erica to whack off all my hair and it is super-cute, you guys! So I totally went to the mental hospital to see Knute and he is not cute! First of all, a straight jacket is not a cut, nor is it cute! It is not flattering at all. First of all, I don't see how you can get anything done wearing one of those. I mean, like you can't even put on lip gloss! Please. Anyway, Knute was glad to see me and he said that the doctors think he's going to be able to recover. Of course, this is all so totally weird because I guess you guys all remember how he got kidnapped by that guy who he met online when we were in NY? I've never known anyone who got kidnapped more than once! Did you? I mean, that's just crazy. I did know this girl who went to school with me and Mims in Switzerland and she used to call her parents and tell them she was kidnapped and they needed to send her ransom money. They were so stupid, they always fell for it and we would just go to Monaco or wherever and party for the weekend. I don't think that counts, though because Knute was really kidnapped and she wasn't. I'll have to think about that for a bit. The really weird thing is that both times Knute got kidnapped I never even called the police! Isn't that hilarious? I need to pay more attention, I guess.

Anyway, like I was saying, my hair is super cute. No more extensions, unless it's a special occasion. Speaking of which, I dreamed when I was sick that I traded in the Maserati for a yellow converible Mini Cooper. Isn't that hilarious? Like I would do that! In the dream, I was like going to a party or something and I wanted a yellow convertible. Then after the party, I was wanting the Mas back, but it was gone. Like I would trade in the Mas for a Mini! I hate Minis. They are so common. I see them all the time. My Mas is special and you know when you see that Mas in Austin, it's me. I love that.

Being famous is the best way to be awesome!

Hey, have a great weekend, me and Rhett will probably be out and about. The vet has some new alligator tranquilizers that he got in Florida - everyone knows how I feel about Florida, but alligator tranks sound pretty good! So we'll probably be wherever the cute people are! Smooches!

Leave me alone.

I'm sick. I'm so sick that Gus put this little stick in my mouth and him and Katrinka were talking about taking me to the hospital. Gus was saying that if it gets up to 102, then he was taking me. Katrinka said wait til it was 103. I don't even know what that means. A hundred and two WHAT? All I know is, I feel too bad to use exclamation marks. You know that means I feel like crap.

Weekends are hard, you guys!

So, ok, thank goodness Rhett was out of town this weekend because with the whole Monte-holding-Knute-hostage-in-the-attic drama, it was crazy. Plus the whole Monte on the lamb thing. I totally don't understand being "on the lamb." I mean, I've seen lambs and they are like clumsy. And not like super-fast, so if you are hiding out and on the run, why would you get on a lamb? I mean, they are little too. How could a lamb hold a person? I guess it's a figment of speech or whatever. Anyway, Monte is on the lamb (seriously, I would rather be on a squirrel, those fuckers are FAST) and calling me and talking about his gun and how he wants to come visit me. I was like, "I don't think that sounds like much fun at all." So now the cops have a tap on my phone and I can't hardly have any fun anymore.

Anyway, I was exhausted on Friday from all the interrogations and whatever so I just went to bed early. Then Saturday Mother and Daddy surprised me and boy was I surprised! I was like sitting in the kitchen comparing notes with Gus about what the cops asked us and there's a buzz at the gate, so me and Gus just stared at each other and finally he goes, "You gonna get that?" I was like, "Oh!" So I went over to the security room and looked and saw Dan, Daddy's security guy, staring into the camera - it seriously freaked me out! So I was like, "!" and I buzzed them in and I guess Daddy or someone read about it and they came to make sure it stayed out of the papers. Anyway, I haven't seen them together in like forever, so it was kind of fun I guess. We had lunch and then they left, so I guess all this stuff is going ok. Here's the thing though, I was pretty sure Daddy should have been mad for me and Mims taking his plane a couple of weekends ago to go to New York - where by the way, I have a bunch of new people stalking me - so boring!!! Anyway the whole weekend reminded me of that time Liza Minella tried to kill me. What a story! It was just like that scene from Showgirls where that crack girl with the hair pushes that girl with the lips down the stairs. Except Liza Minelli doesn't do crack anymore and I am way cuter than that chick with the lips - she's like OLD. Liza too. Whatever it was tramatic. Almost getting killed is hard, you guys! Also having a maniac kidnap your personal assistant and hold him prisoner in your attic is super-hard! I am like tired. Anyway what was I talking about? Well, on Sunday my friend suggested some waffles to help get my mind off all the cops and stuff, so he suggested this cute place called Katz's. It was cute, but they didn't have waffles, so I was livid. It ruined my whole weekend, until I went to Mims and Thad's house for dinner, but it was super boring so I left. Knute is still in the hospital - I think his brain is broken or something. That's the real reason Daddy came, I think. He ended up paying all of Knute's bills and I guess he's going to do that so Knute won't sue, but Daddy doesn't know that Knute would never sue. I have too much crap on that boy. He wouldn't dare! I wanted to go see him today, but the nurses wouldn't let me. WHATEVER! I do what I want.

Tomorrow Erica is going to cut all my hair off so I'm sure it'll be all in the papers by Wednesday. I figure if I get my hair all cut off, the nurses won't recognize me, so I can slip in and see Knute. I heard he's in a straight jacket or something which I can't really picture because Knute is sort of pear-shaped so he really ought to stick with A-lines.

The other thing about lambs is that they are delicious. With mint jelly.