Where's Monte?

So I was lying by the pool this morning - not sleeping! - and who comes walking up but Mother! I was stunned you guys. She was just in town to meet with her surgeon, I guess she's going to have another procedure. Whatever. We had lunch and then she went back to Tahiti or Bali or wherever she is nowdays. At least her "spiritual advisor" wasn't with her. He's a jerk. I don't know where Daddy is but when he hears she was here and we went to Bailey Banks & Biddle, I bet he'll finally get around to buying me that castle in England that I've been wanting.

I told Mother about not sleeping and she was like, "Well, it has been really stressful for you lately, what with your PA being kidnapped and you discovering the attic and all." And I was like, "YES! You are right! I am stressed out! Plus with Knute in the mental hospital and I had to do all my own errands and stuff. That is hard!" And she was like nodding and going, "Ummm hmmmm." Then she took a big drink of her martini and goes, "What happened to your neighbor? Did they catch him?" And I was like, "No. Stupid cops. I do make Gus check the attic everyday though to make sure there's no one up there." And she's all, "Ummm hmmmm, that's good." And now, of course, all I can think about is Monte. Where's Monte? Are the cops even looking for him? Like every single time I'm DUI or driving on my suspended license, they are all over me, but you get one crazed fan who totally tortured my PA and he's roaming the streets a free man! That is not justice you guys!