HOLY CRAP YOU GUYS!

Ok, right now, I am locked in the Master Suite freaking out. I was just downstairs talking to Gus and he was cooking something awesome smelling in a giant pot. So I was trying to sniff it but the pot was too big so I go, "Why you gotta always be cooking in such big pots?" And he goes, "That's how I learned." So I was all, "Were you in the army?" And he goes, "Nope." So I was like, "Where did you learn to cook so big?" And he's all, "The Greybar Hotel." And I was like, "Where's that? New York?" And he goes, "No, Louisiana." So I was like, "Awesome!" And he's not, "Not really, sweety. I was in prison." So I was like, "!" And I got up real slow because I'm pretty sure you aren't supposed to move quick around those people. And I'm like, "Oh. Um. Ok. I'm just going to ....ummmm" and then I made a dash for the door and up the stairs and down the gallery and up those other stairs and across the atrium and into the Master Suite where I locked the door and now I'm scared to come out! Like I've never been afraid of Gus before even though he's totally black and I don't really have that many dealings with the blacks, I mean mostly he's fun and he's super-patient with me, so that's awesome. But like he's been in PRISON. I feel like I don't know anyone anymore!

So I just called Knute on the intercom and I was like, "Pssttt, did you know Gus was in prison?" And Knute goes, "I'll be right there." So I'm pretty much thinking that Knute must be freaking out too and I was wishing for a secret passageway or something so he could come to me without Gus knowing, but he just knocked on the door like everything was cool and so I went over and I was like, "Who is it?" And Knute goes, "Open the fucking door." So then I was like sure he was scared so I opened the door real fast and pulled him in. Then I slammed the door and locked it again. Knute goes, "What is your problem?" And I was like, "What is MY problem? My problem is that I have a convict making gumbo in a 20 gallon pot on my professional chef's stove." So Knute goes, "So?" And I'm all, "What do you mean 'so'? Did you know that?" And he's all, "Well Duh! I hired him. I saw his resume!" And I was like, "!" So finally I go, "What did he do?" And Knute goes, "I'm tempted to tell you he killed a celebutard, but he just didn't pay his taxes." And I was like, "Whew!" Then I felt bad because I bet Gus was worried that I was freaking out, so I was like, "What do I do?" And Knute was like, "Why don't you start by apologizing to him?" But I'm totally thinking that if I haven't even apologized to Knute for not calling the cops when he disappeared, then it's not appropriate to apologize to Gus because I figured he was dangerous. And I am all about being appropriate, so I'm not going to apologize to either of them.

I just went downstairds and Gus goes, "Are you ok?" And I was like, "Yeah, what's your problem?" he kept staring at me and now I'm still a little freaked out. Like how am I supposed to eat his waffles when I know I should apologize?