Home. Bam.

Yeah, I didn't make it 90 days at Promises like they wanted me to. I'm home. Rhett texted me and was all, "We cood b drnkn." And like that was all I needed. I came straight back to Texas. I just got home from being out with him and we had a fabulous time. We met at this bar with a super-cute bartender (what up, Curtis?) and that was totally boring. So we went downtown to see what was what. It was so boring. I have never been so bored in my whole entire life. Like where are all the cute people? It makes me crazy.

Anyway, I'm going to go see my fiance Bucky this weekend and that will be awesome. I haven't seen him since like forever. He doesn't live in my bouganvilla anymore, which makes me sad, and it's not the same without him skulking around the hedges. Anyway. Rhett's coming with me and I was all, "Let's be smart when we go down to Houston. Let's go to a museum." So Rhett was like, "Ooo, I like The Galleria Museum. It's like one big giftshop!" So we're going to be super-smart at The Galleria Museum before we see Bucky. I'm sure he's going to be livid that I'm brining Rhett along, but like, it's too boring to drive all the way to Houston by myself. Last time I did that, I had a really scary thing happen. I started feeling really strange, so I was rushing as fast as I could to get home and I totally got pulled over. So the cop was all, "What's your problem?" Which is a totally rude question and I should know since I ask it all the time. Anyway, I was like, "I'm having a negative reaction to my prescription medication." So he got all worried and offered to call an ambulance but I was like, "Look, I know for a fact that I have 20 more minutes before the Ambien starts really working. It takes a little longer when you've been on ephedrine for three days, so I really don't have that much time before the Xanax totally kicks in and I will need to lie down." I have never seen a cop so rude. He pulled me right out of the Maserati and was like, "Missy, you are going to jail." I was like, "Whatever. Don't you know who I am?" And it was like he didn't even hear me. Whatever. I didn't go to jail but that was just because I totally didn't time the Xanax right and I passed out by the side of the highway. Anyway. I woke up in the hospital but I only got a ticket!

Anyway, I'm super-glad to be out of rehab. Not cute, you guys!