Diz-ZAZ-ter

What a fi-zaz-co. I cannot believe we are still in LA. Maddy is totally still missing, and I guess Dan saw it in the newspaper or whatever and he was all, "Why didn't you notify us?" And I was all, "Hello! I totally tried!" And he goes, "Oh." I guess Daddy and his security team think its a really B.D. but I'm starting to think she's going to turn up. I bet she's just totally partying. You know, its not like she has any experience. Before me and Lindsay gave her that cat tranquilizer, she said the highest she'd ever been was on wheatgrass juice - whatever the hell that is. Like, I guess she'd never even had alcohol either - like Daddy thought I was going to relate to HER?! Please. She's never even been to rehab!
So me and Knute have been shopping like mad. I am so glad he came out here because Lindsay is totally getting on my nerves. We were out night before last at Chi and she totally left with Jared Leto and he is not even cute right now! Wow! He looks like an old man. I know it's for a role or whatever, but that's just weird. I hooked up with him right after Cameron and him broke up and he was totally hot then. Anyway, when Lindsay came back to the hotel, she was all, "I totally did Jared Leto!" And I was like, "Whatev. Been there." And she was all, "Still hot." And I was like, "You wish!" Anyway, me and Knute were shopping yesterday and I totally bought him a Balenciaga contact lens case. He was like, "Fabulous, honey. Maybe someday I'll actually wear contact lenses!" I think that was him being bitchy, but I'm not sure. He could totally keep his X in there, he doesn't need to complain. While we were out, I totally met this lady who does some sort of decorating or whatever - it's called fun sway and that sounds cool to me. I guess it's like making your house more energy efficient or something. She kept talking about "flow" so I'm guessing it has something to do with like your toilets or something. She was telling me it's super ancient from like Asia or whatever. I totally didn't know they had toilets in Asia! I was all, "You should come do my house in Austin!" And she goes, "Yeah!" So I was like, "Yeah." So Knute is going to set that up for whenever we get back. Fun Sway. It sounds like a party and I am all about partying.