Whatever

Oh my god, I am so pissed at my parents. They came to visit like a week ago or something, but it was a weird visit and they totally acting all parental and everything. I didn't even see them that much because Lindsay and I were busy with going out and partying. So Monday, at the crack of 10:00AM, I totally do not get up that early, ok? My doorbell is ringing and Knute answers it and it is totally some LIFE COACH my parents hired to help me "get on track". Like this is gym class or something. Please! So, I throw on some yoga pants and my Versace hoodie and go down to meet her. Ok, first of all, her name is Moonbeam. Yes, Moonbeam Bragewitz. Ok, I don't even know where to go from there. She's wearing some kind of crazy housecoat or something. When Knute asked her about it, she said it's a caftan. All know is that it does nothing for her figure - not that she has one.
Ok, so she wanted to "interact" with me. So we sat down in back by the pool and she was asking me all kinds of questions about goals and dreams and plans - like, whatever. I just told her I'm trying to have a good time while the designers are still giving me free clothes. Like what is wrong with that? She totally didn't even have an answer besides some crap about self-esteem and my body being a temple or something. I'm pretty sure she's trying to turn me into a Jew or whatever - why else would she be talking about temple, right? Isn't that what they call church?
Needless to say, Knute is beside himself. When she finally left, we totally opened a bottle of Crystal and laughed until I almost barfed. The problem is that she's going to be all over me for however long my parents continue to pay her. I called them about it and Daddy said he was concerned about my ability to manage my trust, which I'm supposed to get when I turn 25. He said if I can't even keep a dog in my purse, how could I keep twenty-five million? Like, I totally thought it was more than that. Anyway, they want me to be more mature or whatever. WHATEVER!