Oww.

So here's the thing. I haven't written lately and thanks to all my fans who've been following the story in the tabs and ET and E! who've written and sent presents and stuff. By now, I'm sure you've all heard about the car wreck. I don't know what that homeless guy was doing sleeping on that bus bench, but he was really asking for it by being right out there in the open. Anyway, I think I broke my back or maybe something. Here's the thing, I have to stay in bed, on my back for like ever. I am so bored I could DIE. Not really die like that homeless dude, but die of like boredumb. Normally, I enjoy just lying around, but it hurts so I can't even flop around like I like and PLUS I'm on so many drugs that it's not any fun. Which is totally hard to believe because normally I am all about drugs but these just make me sleepy.

Here's the weird thing, I've had lots of people who have offered to help. One of who is a psychic and she said I have bad harmony in my life. I was like, "DUH!" So then she started talking about some stuff that sort of sounded like feng shui again and we all remember how THAT turned out! But she wanted to talk about unhappiness and shit like that. I was like, "Look, I was totally happy until my friend (WHO WILL REMAIN NAMELESS but you all know who I'm talking about) smashed into the bus stop!" I mean, who rides the bus? Seriously?!!! If that bus stop hadn't been there, we would have been fine.