God, what a day! First me and Rhett met some of my smart friends at a play. I guess it was a play, but it was only one guy and first he was talking about how he killed all these kids and then how his wife gave birth to a white puppy or a weasel or something. And I guess they shaved it to make it look like a person or something? I wasn't really listening because I was bored out of my mind. Like who wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a baby, a dog and a weasel? For reals! At half-time, I look at Rhett and go, "I can't take much more of this." And he was all, "I know! Right?" So we went outside to pretend to smoke but we really got in the car and left. So then we were like super bored, but Rhett knew about this place called a "Sonic" and it was super-cute. You pull up in your car and then you push this little button and someone takes your order and then in a little bit this girl comes out with it, then you pay her and you drive away! You never have to get out of your car! It was even awesomer than a drive-thru. Anyway, we went to a Sonic and then we drove around being totally bored for like hours. We were going to go see a movie again, but all the people at the movie theater looked like they smelled funny, so I refused to get out of the car. So then we went shoe shopping at some cute little boutiques and then he wanted to see one of the other lakes in Austin, so we found another Sonic - they are like everywhere! - and we were driving out to Lake Travis to see the nude beach and we were just talking and whatever. I mean I really missed him while he was in Japan because I guess they don't have cell phones in Japan because I didn't talk to him for a month. Anyway, we had all kinds of Sonic drinks and then we didn't even feel like eating! That is so not like us. Anyway, he wanted to go to a book store, which was hilarious, so we did that too. Like, who goes to book stores? It was awesome, I was laughing the whole time. He bought a guidebook to Austin because when we were growing up, his parents were super-scared that he was going to get kidnapped so they hardly ever let him off the grounds of the estate. Which is so totally sad to me, because like he hardly knows anything. Don't tell him I said that! When he was talking about going to see a taping of ACL, I was like, "Ha! Good luck getting tickets to that without Knute." And he threw his drink on me and was all, "Don't you ever call me out like that, bitch." I was all, "!" (Remember, that means I'm speechless!!!) anyway, I was all, "!" with cherry Dr. Pepper dripping off of me. It was not cute. I was like, "I hate you, I want to kill you!" So then the people at the bookstore told us to leave and by the time we got out of there, we were like laughing, so whatever. Anyway, my point is this: I think if I had a baby that was a puppy or a weasel, I wouldn't shave it and try to pretend it was something it wasn't. I mean, if you are a puppy or like a rodent, you should just love yourself the way you are!
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