I called Vanessa and I was all, "What is this?" And she goes, "Isn't it gorgeous? It belonged to the tsarina." I don't even know what a tsarina is but I made her spell it because I knew I was going to have to write about what a totally huge disappointment this is. It sounds like a mammal that lives in the ocean, like a porpoise or something. "I was on the ferry when I saw the tsarinas frolicking in the waves." Or something.
When I saw the velvet box I was like, "Yay! The Bob Hope Diamond!" But no. So now I'm looking for a watch because I need something cute to wear. Plus, Daddy's going to buy it because he didn't get me what I wanted. I might need a new house too. Maybe in London. Or Spain. Or somewhere awesome!
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