Stop yelling at me, people! I'm sorry, I have been like super busy and bored and just haven't felt like writing. Like doesn't a celebretard have the right to like check out sometimes? Plus I went to rehab, so there.
So I was looking back to see what was going on last time I wrote and a bunch of crap has happened. Knute is still with that whore Brookie and she won't return my calls. I don't know how I'm supposed to explain why I drugged her if she won't let me. I know she reads this, so like I'll just say this, "It was totes justified, hokay?" She needs to get over it. She didn't even come to the pretrial hearing, so I don't know why she's acting like a "victim" or whatever because if she can't be bothered to come why is the prosecutor even bothering? Oh, and by the way, he is HOT. His name is Bob and I was all, "hellow, Bob!" I swear, he's hot for me and that is totes boring unless I can get him to drop the charges or something. Daddy's lawyer wants me to totes work on that!
Rehab was quick, I just did 10 days because I was so bored. I left before the 90 days they wanted from me. Like I'm going to do anything for 90 days! Please!
I went to the symphony again with my friend Tenny. I know why they call it "phony" -- those people all look like a-holes. I kept going, "When is something going to HAPPEN??" Tenny just kept telling me to be quiet which is SUPER Boring. So I was texting Rhett and he was being hilarious playing a new game he calls "Show Me Your Crack" which is kind of like "Show Me Your Shoes" except with asses. I can't wait to play it because he'll be here in a couple of weeks and we are going to tear it up. Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, the phonies at the symphony. What's funny is that Tenny isn't phony - he's fun. So I don't know why he keeps taking me to hear all that. Like how many violins do you need, for reals?
My trainer is awesome. His name is Mark and I love him. He's huge! I'm going to make him be my bodyguard because the paps have gone totes crazy with this murder charge thing. I need a whole security team, but since Mark is so huge he's like his own security detail! He says he doesn't want to work for me, but I'll wear him down. I'm super charming!
Mother is still up in space, I have a friend who works for NASA and he got me in touch with her. She says the space station is super boring which totes does not surprise me.
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Warning to other readers! It is becoming, in my opinion, a revelation of some doubt, as to the authenticity of Cupcakes celebrity status. We could not get backstage after the concert, and they charged us for our drinks at halftime. The directions to the after party proved to be wrong as well. Either that or those Orchestra types don't watch TMZ.
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