Don't eat monkeys, people!

I have no idea what the hell I did tonight. I think I ate one of these effers, but I'm not sure. The thing is, we were at some festival and the place we ate was like serving squirrel and frog and raccoon. Who the hell eats raccoon? They have little hands!!!

One of my fans took me to this Louisiana festival thing and I have to say, if they eat cute animals with little hands in Louisiana then I definitely don't want to go there. My friend Jenn lives there and that makes me scared for her! She's probably eating rats and mice and gawd knows what out there. I have a raccoon that lives down by the fish pond and I wouldn't eat it. That would be like eating Mr. Cat! What other animals have little hands? I think monkeys have hands. I wouldn't eat a monkey either. It just seems rude. Like I'll totes eat something with fins or hoofs or something. But hands are just a little too close, you know?

Anyway, it was mostly fun. My fan had a midget with him. I don't care for midgets, they make me nervous. I wouldn't eat a midget either, they have little hands.