Can you really have too many gays?

I think all my fans and friends know how much the gays love me and I am all super-gay-friendly, but seriously yesterday was a little too gay, even for me. I had an interview over lunch with a semi-famous gossip-blogger that I know you all know. He's hilarious and I totes love him. Sometimes, when I'm mad at someone I like to call him and give him tips. The best thing about him, besides being hilarious, is that he tells everything! I mean everything, stuff he doesn't even publish! I love to hear who all's going to rehab and making plea-bargains and crap like that. He's the bomb.

Then I had dinner with three of my favorite gays at the cutest place but there was a lot of "Oh LAWD"ing going on. Also "HOKAYS". I had a very cute drink that might be my new signature beverage for the spring: Pomegranate Cosmo. Awesome! Anyway, I was on my way back to The Compound and I was thinking about how you can actually have too many gays and how the only person there who was talking about stuff I would want to write about is actually a straight girl and she told me I can't write about her because it would cause "too many problems" for her and I know lawsuit-speak when I hear it. So I'm not going to write about what a whore she used to be. That's too bad, too, because it's some good crap. Maybe I'll just call my gossip friend and tell him although he won't care because she's not even famous.

What was I talking about? Oh yea, all the gays. There were gays at the next table who were DYING that we were there and taking our pictures and falling all over themselves. That was boring. Early on, there was a table of two gays and a ugly woman and they weren't even trying to pretend they weren't DYING we were there and they were just staring at us and listening to every stupid thing we were saying. That was super-boring. Then at some point in the dinner, I guess the birthday boy was mad that his presents weren't better because he took out his phone and started reading his texts. That was the most boringest thing I have ever had to listen to in my whole entire life. At first we were all being polite and pretending to care, but then after like 20 minutes I started going, "This game is boring. Let's play a new game." Even Squirrel was agreeing with me and he has to be nice! But the birthday boy just kept on, so I started telling a story to Squirrel and Squirrel's friend and then it got super-ugly because Phone-Boy got mad that we weren't paying attention to him and there was some slapping between me and him and maybe some sparkling wine might have gotten thrown. I'm pretty sure there were some pictures taken and not by his cell phone so I'm just waiting for a call from Daddy's lawyers. They totes told me to keep a low profile while the suit over the Oscar-blogging is going on and I've been seriously trying, but it is hard, you guys! Especially when someone is pouting!

Then I got back to The Compound and Knute was pouting because I didn't take him along but Edgar says I need to establish some boundaries with him which is going to be hard since he does all my waxing.