Ok, so here's the deal, I have a blog. Everyone knows that, because it's one of the most read blogs on the internets. So when some folks were like, "Cupcake could live blog for the Oscars." I was like, "SCORE! I'm gonna write about it anyway, so I might as well make some green." My dress was green by the way, and GORGEOUS! Hellow! There's a sketch of it that the designer - who I'm not mentioning because I am furious at him - sent me. I looked awesome. Ok, so this morning, I'm sleeping off the parties when Yoli calls and is like, "You didn't live blog last night." I was all, "Jeez! I'm sleeping and plus I left my computer in Austin! I'll blog when I get home." Well, it turns out that "live blogging" means I was supposed to write during the show which just seems rude to me. So now they are going to sue me or else I have to return the money they already gave me! Whatever. I'm livid.
I did think to make some notes during the show, which is almost like live blogging, right? Here's what I found in my handbag this morning:
Seacrest is a a-hole
There's some deaf old man screaming at me on the red carpet. I'm like, "TURN UP YOUR HEARING AID, OLD MAN!" Turns out it was Regis!
Who the fuck does Miley Cyrus think she is?
No Vanity Fair after-party which sucks. I'm all texting Scar going, "remind me no VF party!"
Why is everyone wearing red?
Ooo! An open bar!
Evrryeone hates danidle Day Lewis, don';t venene act like you don't.
I athink i did jariver Bardemd thisone tme in speain tsis one time.
Damiela day lewis is aprick, he dont bathe yiou know, whas up wiht the browm shoese ?
skwi laLait ekshte ksk teriathisal
I don't understand most of that last stuff, but if I'm going to try to act like I was live-blogging, this is my arguement. Plus, all this stuff was just from the red carpet and the lobby. Just think how awesome it would have been if I'd stayed sober and actually live blogged!
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